Visitors...

"Which Way" Circus

Man I tell you people what...this place that I'm living in has become a not-so mild mannered circus. It is so dad-gum confusing to maneuver your way through town. God forbid you make the wrong turn, because every other street you come across for the next ten blocks might just happen to be one way the opposite direction that you're looking for. But if you do get lucky and find a road that meets your directional standards, watch out cause the next few roads on that street are going to be going the wrong way that you need to right yourself again from the wrong turn you made earlier. AHH!!! Plus the same street is named one thing one way and another the other direction, so by the time you're frustrated and 15 minutes late due to all the one ways blocking your opposite way, you have become so royally confused that you think you're in a completely different part of town because your streets have all changed names! UGH!!

Oh, and by the way, I know this place is prepared for hurricanes and all that craziness, but whoever created the sideways traffic light is a moron for streets downtown which are all one block apart and all have traffic lights at the exact same level of sight. These lights are tricky because you think you're looking at the right street light 10 cars in front of you but your mind plays a trick and is actually looking at the one two streets down. Which in reality is not all that far away. So you attempt to gas it instinctively but quickly realize that no one else is moving cause you're the only dumba** that was looking at the wrong light. So suddenly that panic-striken flash of adrenaline rushes through your system making your heart beat 12 times faster than normal. SO not only are you 15 minutes late and on the verge of a heart attack, you still haven't even made it back to the street that you initially made the wrong turn off of. And to only make matters worse it seems that each one of those one block traffic lights stay green for only about 10 seconds in a car accordion like fashion (which my friends is only long enough to tease you into thinking that you might make the yellow), then you must wait because inevitably you are now stuck is the arduous cycle of catch one light red, catch the next twelve blocks of lights red. Panic ensues because you realize that if you actually do make it to your destination now, you'll probably be about 30-45 minutes late

SO you just might as well turn your car right back around, head to the nearest doctor's office to get your heart examined, go to the pharmacy to refill your anxiety medicine, stop by the gas station to refill the wasted gasoline and buy a map of this god-forsaken city, run by the bank to refill your wallet from the price the gas just gouged from you, call into work with the doctor's excuse that you had the early signs of a mild heart or panic attack and head back home to bed cause this day was definitely not meant for you. Maybe you'll wake up on the right side next time, or left just in case they change names on you!

Gotta love the circus!

3 comments:

Lili said...

WOW!!! I totally got paniced just reading this.

Is there still that road that is the busiest roaf in town that goes all around the city that is like a TWO LANE country road that floods all the time?!!!

Good luck chicken and hang on tight so the wind doesn't carry you away. Love you!

Oh and P.S. Thanks for the FREEKIN' rain!!!

Lili said...

Your profile image is so cute!!! where did you find it?

Lili said...

Where are you ???

The Area I'm In...

The Area I'm In...
It's Picturesque!

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